People will always have conflicting opinions of you; people will always have opinions of you, and the chances are a lot of these opinions will be ones that you don't like.
But what is important to remember, and what I often forget to remember, is that others opinions should not inform your opinion about yourself. You are your greatest critic, don't let other people add to that.
Critique yourself, and if you feel uncomfortable about something you may have said, done, or thought, change it but don't let what other people say change you.
You are not obliged or required to do anything. Ought is a manipulative and persuasive word, don't let it cajole you into thinking you should do something. People love to give their opinions, and they will not stop giving their opinions. People just love to talk, and thinking before talking is certainly not something that happens often.
A throwaway remark can hit too close to home, whilst the person who said it may never realise what they've done. Even if it's just a petty comment about something really small and insignificant it can have a snowball effect that rolls on to impact someones self-esteem, and that can be really crippling.
For example, one small thing that happened to me yesterday. I was at the fencing competition and I had just come off the piste from a fight, and naturally my face was bright red because I had been exerting myself and it was hard work. I have a orangey-pink jumper to put on after I finish fencing to keep warm, and my colleague who was there pointed out that my face match the colour of my jumper. This in itself didn't bother me because I've come to terms with the fact that my skin is fair and will go red. What niggles a bit in hindsight, is that she went on about how I should change my clothes so that in the photos my face does not stand out so much.
Because of course, after winning or losing a fight this is exactly what I'm concerned about.
What she was inadvertently doing, is telling me that the colour my face had gone was a problem, and I should try and do something to make it less obvious. The chances are she was just looking for something to say at the time, and she's probably not given any thought to it since. Really her comments were not helpful in the slightest. Okay she didn't know that I have a past of being very anxious and concerned about the colour the skin on my face, but even without knowing that, it's obvious really that telling me to change my clothes would not be helpful in the slightest.
So, that was what was on my mind this morning, and I thought I'd put this down just so I can get on with the rest of my day without it being present in my head! And I'm just going to say this instance is not something that is going to affect me in the long term, it's blown over all ready really. I just thought it might be useful for people to hear, that when people don't bother to think before they speak, we really have no need to give any consideration to what they're saying.
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